CW // depression, mental health, suicide, death

The CDC reports that every 40 seconds, someone in the world ends their life.

In 2018, men accounted for three-quarters of UK deaths by suicide (declared by the Mental Health Foundation in 2019).

There are hundreds of TED talks addressing depression and mental illness. But the ones that hit the hardest are the ones that begin with the truth, like the ones I just stated.

That statistic is very real, and it’s commonly known that most men are not as open with their feelings as women. I’d like to start by sharing a TED talk by Talon Owens, who was sixteen when he attempted suicide, and survived only because he witnessed another suicide several floors beneath him on the multistory car park he had chosen as his death bed.

“One person’s jump saved another person’s life.”

I watched this TED talk by Talon’s mother twice, with clips of Talon speaking at a convention telling his story. But the first time round, I didn’t watch it the whole way through. I stopped after ten or fifteen minutes to move on to another TED talk.

The second time round, I watched it to refresh my mind before writing this. I learned that the year after Talon’s attempted suicide, he died in a car accident in 2017 on his way to his aunt’s for Thanksgiving, having had a recurring dream of dying in a bus crash. He finally found his reason to live and then his life ended anyway.

That was the moment I felt instant guilt and regret for being so impatient to watch another YouTube video. Listening to the whole story is crucial, and in certain situations, that’s what could help another to continue living.

I think Talon’s story is so important in particular because it shows that some people must hit rock bottom before they can heal. Before his ordeal, Talon felt he had no purpose in life, he felt useless and alone and better off anywhere but here. Afterwards however, speaking as a teen suicide advocate gave him that purpose. He was able to help other young people experiencing depression and suicidal thoughts by having them relate to him. Men and boys are statistically more affected by mental health issues than women, and it needs to be talked about.

This leads me on to another TED talk, emphasis on the talk. Sadie Penn also attempted suicide at a young age, but is now advocating for the need to communicate about such deep and threatening matters.

Sadie presents three main ideologies to help those struggling with mental health: get educated, get honest, get brave.

Whenever I see a social media post or self help book with the words 'be positive', I want to explode. It's passive behaviour and it just doesn't cut it. As someone who's going through mental illness, these fake words of wisdom make me feel inadequate, because

depression is not an attitude flaw, it's a neurological deficit.

Sadie makes the statement, "fear does not excuse silence". However I believe it's not just fear that is the reason mental illness is so stigmatised, it's blind ignorance. As an example, the reason I hate self help books is that a lot of people are profiting from your misery. They give you insufficient, temporary 'solutions' to your problems and rely on you coming back for more. This of course is not the case for every self help book out there, but for me it's a huge issue and one that I need more space to talk about.

And it needs to be talked about.

The final TED talk I want to share is one that highlights something everyone can relate to and should be ashamed of - being casually suicidal.

Sarah talks about humour being a common way to mask what you're really feeling. This is true, to an extent. However, social media has a lead role to play in the pandemic of casual suicide. These off-hand, cursory remarks about suicide tend to stem from online platforms and are now most prevalent within conversations of the younger generation.

It's become a cultural norm to say these kinds of things regarding one's own life, and this is down to lack of education and ignorance about the reality of suicide and mental illness. Sarah very despairingly says that due to the stigma surrounding these matters, she lost a very good friend and another doesn't look or speak to her the same way after learning what Sarah was dealing with.

I think there's a new cultural outlook of mental health emerging, one that is both a step forward but also highly detrimental. While it's great that it's more widely recognised and discussed, the way in which media portrays mental health to the world is purely pragmatic and profitable.

Things like self help books as mentioned before, but also TV series and film. One that comes to mind is not surprisingly, '13 Reasons Why', which received major backlash after the first season for allegedly "glorifying suicide". There is a vast network of people and companies profiting from supposedly 'breaking the stigma' of mental health, but they are actually tainting it by portraying an unrealistic version of it and making it 'fashionably relatable.'

I think this is why the concept of casual suicide is so important to talk about, because it's encouraged by people and platforms with the power to change the way people think, and that is incredibly dangerous.

The CDC reports that every 40 seconds, someone in the world ends their life.

In 2018, men accounted for three-quarters of UK deaths by suicide (declared by the Mental Health Foundation in 2019).

Helplines:

Samaritans - 116 123

Rethink - 0300 5000 927

Breathing Space (Scotland) - 0800 83 85 87

Young Minds - 0808 802 5544